Man, when we got a looky-look at the Apple genius bar employee training manual, our heads just about ’sploded. To paraphrase the song..like lovin’ you, if it’s wrong we don’t wanna be right. Seriously, these manuals are a mark of genius. Just this–THIS!–alone is genius, hence, the name “Genius Bar”! Here’s the excerpt:
Did your computer crash? No, it “stops responding.” Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there’s an “issue,” “condition,” or simply “situation.”
You don’t “eliminate” a problem—you “reduce” it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they’re “warm.”
See? See how they do that? Genius.
Also, the part about body language? OMG, we could read this for hours. We have no intention of ever working at an Apple Genius Bar ( for we are not worthy) but we will commit the training manual to memory anyway, because it’s just that good. If only they handed these manuals out to McDonald’s employees, real estate agents and Fortune 500 CEOs, well let’s just say no one would be jabbering on about tax cuts and deficits.
We leave you will a few more images from the actual manual, with the bestest parts highlighted ( Highlit? As we previously mentioned, we are not worthy….)
“It’s called the IN-TER-NET” what could be wrong with saying that?
“I’m a mouse fan.” I mean, who isn’t?
The mention of another genius’s perfume making you gag, or a customer kicking at imaginary things on the floor? Unbuttoned coat? What? We could go on and on….
Think different (ly)!